The Myths and Facts around Infidelity

 No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. One must develop a higher level of consciousness. 

                                                                                ~ Albert Einstein

Long before our modern era, infidelity was a recurrent element in literature and art. History is laced with accounts of faithlessness. 

Anthropologist Margaret Mead once suggested that monogamy is the most difficult of all human marital arrangements. Similarly, many anthropologists have repeatedly claimed that Homo sapiens throughout its evolution, like most animals, has not been naturally monogamous. This has made it very difficult to comply with the Western-Judeo-Christian proscription. Barash & Lipton poignantly wrote in their book The Monogamy Myth "Infants have their infancy. And adults? Adultery."

                                                        Infidelity is neither rare nor new 

                                                       and is accepted in many non-

                                                       western cultures. Monogamy is 

                                                       rare in the animal kingdom and 

                                                        throughout human evolution. 

Another major misperception among lay people and psychotherapists is that extramarital relationships are never consensual and are always harming to the marital relationships.

Some couples have reached a consensus regarding extramarital sexual relationships, as is the case when one partner has decided to pursue gay relationships with the consent of the partner. Consent to extramarital sexual relationships can be passive or active; it can be implicit or explicit. 

This paper emphasizes the importance of understanding the nature and context of each affair and each couple so that healing and resolution can be achieved.